I lay in bed this morning thinking about the dream that woke me. At first I couldn’t understand what it meant. In the dream, I was traveling with my husband and, for some reason, we had a tour guide with us (we never do that). She was a little obnoxious: talking incessantly, overreacting to anything I said (when I could get a word in edgewise); she was intruding on my space immensely and I wanted to get away from her.
Suddenly there was another woman with us, a tall woman bearing gifts for this tour guide. The tour guide started opening them; they were intricate gifts with many beautiful layers, and as she opened them, she tossed aside each beautiful layer to get to the next and deeper layer. The tall, beautiful woman said over and over again, “Don’t toss that aside! Look at it! Take it in!”
It is a kind of meditation to listen to a dream and seek to understand it. After a time, I began to see that the tour guide is my small self, the ego self, the mind that never ceases talking within. I have been working to move beyond that ego mind over many years and it is, indeed, hard to get away from.
The tall, beautiful woman is my higher self, my real self, the soul of me. She gives me gifts and I, in haste, pass them by unseeing. The deeper layers of the gifts will likewise be unseen because I haven’t taken the time to really absorb the gifts in previous layers.
During difficult times, our highest self brings gifts to us that we may not notice. Though they seem difficult, they are beautiful gifts, gifts that grow us, allowing us to live from our highest selves rather than our small selves. But to us they seem painful, and in our haste to get out of that pain we toss them aside, desperately seeking to escape.
If, however, we can allow them in and learn from them, we can move deeper into understanding of what is truly real within us. The pain we feel then simply becomes a pathway to our real selves. More and more, if we travel this path, accepting these gifts, we can live from that real and truest self, that deepest and highest part of our being. This dream reminds me of this; it encourages me to keep on, no matter what the difficulty.