This morning, I am struggling with an inner list of things I ought to do. “Ought” is a dangerous word. When it appears in my thinking, I know I have strayed away from paying attention to my inner voice and, as a consequence, may miss an opportunity to allow God’s voice to move through me and into the world.
The first glorious whisper from within was to go back into the garden (where I spent most of yesterday afternoon in the sun, working a little, reading and dreaming a lot). Is the garden the best choice, my mind whispers back? Is there something else I “should” (another dangerous word) be doing? I slide headlong from that thought into stress and anxiety.
There are many times, I believe, when each of us allows that Divine voice to work through us. It doesn’t matter what we call it; the Divine is that energy that leaves us feeling right about ourselves, satisfied at a deep level of being with how we are conducting ourselves, able to connect in a loving way with the people and the world around us. We are immersed in our work, whatever it may be in the moment, and the resonance of that holds us in a stillness that exists even amidst the noise of life and the activity around us.
If we identify the inner guidance emerging from the center of our being, and then act on it, we can regain our balance when we are assailed by a list of “oughts”. Though the very things that are on my “ought” list may, in fact, at some point soon flow from my inner guidance, they will do so for different reasons. I will not be stressed by an inner struggle to find my center and act from it. I will act from the center of my being, not the center of what I perceive the world’s wishes to be, and that makes all the difference.
I finally realized that the first whisper of the day, to go into the garden, was truly the right one. I donned my hiking boots, grabbed my water bottle, and went outside. There, I swept, weeded and pruned, mulling over the changes in motion and yet to come in the tiny patch of yard I was working on. Just as I came to the end of my inner inspiration to work in the garden, the first raindrops fell. I put away my tools and came indoors. Now, as I write, the rain is falling and I am content to follow the next inner whisper.